Mother

I am consumed by this feeling,
It causes me pain i can't describe,
I pray that it stays with me no more.

It haunts my every moment,
Its there with me when in the middle of the day,
i find myself staring at her picture on the wall,
Just to remind myself of her face,
When my brain can longer form it own its own.

I find myself wondering if she can see me,
If she can see how i feel.

We never made peace and thats my fault,
Because i never imagined this would ever happen,
At least not this soon!
We had so much left to do...

I wanted you here when i brought him home.
The man that would take care of me,
Now am sad that you won't be here to give him a hard time-
Making him learn our native tribe.

I miss you! And our fights,
I haven't fought with anyone since you left.
I feel like am the only one thats not getting over this.
Letting you rest in peace.
But i pray that i will be some day soon.

I will stop seeing you dead in that bed,
I will lose this feeling in my chest,
I will stop crying myself to sleep,
And tearing up without a valid reason.

You can't die twice i know.
And you won't ever come back for us to try this again.
But i sure wish you would try.